Tantrums

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Art by Luna Rose

A tantrum is an emotional outburst wherein higher brain functions are unable to stop the emotional expression of the lower (emotional and physical) brain functions. It can be categorized by an irrational fit of crying, screaming, defiance, and a resistance to every attempt at pacification in which even physical control is lost. The person may not stand or sit on their own. Even when the "goal" of the person is met, they are not calmed.

Usually tantrums are seen in children of the ages of 3-6 but sometimes 7-9. This is a very clear case of emotional disinhibition caused by immature forebrain development.

Anyone experiencing forebrain impairments—temporary or permanent—can suffer from tantrums. The forebrain can be temporarily impaired by mood depressants (such as alcohol), lack of sleep, or fatigue. People with mental illnesses or intellectual disabilities may have more outbursts.

Toddlers and young children

Tantrums are common in young children, but tend to decrease in frequency and intensity as the child grows older. For the toddler, "tantrums are normal...the force of the tantrum is a kind of measure of the strength of character the child can possess eventually, if [s]he's helped to harness that energy."

Young children struggle to manage their emotions and can be easily overwhelmed by strong emotion. Tantrums are one of the ways this manifests. Co-regulation can help build emotion regulation skills.

While tantrums may be misinterpreted as a predictor of future anti-social behaviour, in another sense they are simply "a manifestation of a loss of control and frustration ... and so 'with patience and a consistent reaction to tantrums, they'll get fewer and farther between as your child grows'."

Although "when a child is in a tantrum, it is all too apparent that it is wanting something ... what the child is also needing is something very different...."

Selma Fraiberg warned against "too much pressure or forceful methods of control from the outside' in child-rearing: "if we turn every instance of pants changing, treasure hunting, napping, puddle wading and garbage distribution into a governmental crisis we can easily bring on fierce defiance, tantrums, and all the fireworks of revolt in the nursery."

Underlying feelings

In 2011, research found that toddlers use tantrums to express two emotions, anger and fear, simultaneously or in patterns. Such tantrums often have a "pattern and rhythm" to their "vocalizations". Analysis of the patterns can lead to discerning which tantrums are normal and which could be signs of future problems—"that may be warning signals of an underlying disorder." The study was authored by Michael Potegal, at the University of Minnesota, Pamela G. Whitney at Quinnipiac University, and James A. Green at the University of Connecticut.

Potegal was quoted by National Public Radio as saying that "The trick in getting a tantrum to end as soon as possible," and when "the child was past being angry, what was left was sadness, and sad children reach out for comfort. The quickest way past the anger ... was to do nothing."

The researchers were called "brave scientists" for dealing with their research subjects.

In people with disabilities

Sensory overload can be a trigger for stress.

People with conditions like autism or intellectual disability may find emotion regulation difficult. They may also experience additional stressors like sensory processing issues or fear of unpredictability. This can lead to emotional outbursts.

Meltdowns vs. tantrums in autism

In autism, caregivers often distinguish between meltdowns and their definitions of tantrums. They describe tantrums as intentional and meltdowns as unintentional.

In this model, the two have the following differences:

Tantrums vs. Meltdowns

	Tantrum	Meltdown
Cause	The person wants something and isn't getting it	A trigger on top of pent-up stress
Goal	To get what they want	None
Behavior	Intentional and planned Person will not hurt themselves Meant to pressure caregiver	Out of control Person may hurt themselves or others Person may try to escape overwhelming/upsetting environment
Ending	Ends quickly when either the caregiver gives in or the person gives up	Must run its course naturally (usually 20+ minutes after trigger is removed)

Punishment and power struggles will not solve meltdowns because meltdowns are involuntary.

Instead, experts recommend staying calm, reducing sensory stimulation, reducing demands, listening, being empathetic, and helping the person find a quiet place to recover. Recovery will take hours. The autistic person won't be ready to discuss it until they have fully recovered.

Autistic people describe feeling overwhelmed during meltdowns and say they cannot think clearly at the time.

Wolf Man

Freud considered that the Wolf Man's development of temper tantrums - as he became 'discontented, irritable and violent, took offence on every possible occasion, and then flew into a rage and screamed like a savage' - was connected with his seduction by his sister.

He also considered that subsequently 'the patient's fits of rage and scenes of fury were put to a new purpose...to force punishments and...satisfy his sense of guilt'. Freud added that 'I do not know how often parents and educators, faced with inexplicable naughtiness on the part of a child, might not have occasion to bear this typical state of affairs in mind. A child who behaves in this inexplicable way is making a confession and trying to provoke punishment...setting his sense of guilt at rest'.

Jealousy over the birth of a sibling, and resulting aggression, may also provoke tantrums: 'the efforts to control himself produced temper tantrums "over nothing" dozens of times a day...stormy and negativistic'.

Narcissism

Heinz Kohut contended that 'the infant's core is likely to contain a self-centred, grandiose-exhibitionist part', and that 'tantrums at being frustrated thus represent narcissistic rages' at the blow to the inflated self-image. With 'a child confronted with some refusal...regardless of its justifications, the refusal automatically provokes fury, since it offends his sense of omnipotence'.

See also

• Acting out
• Anger
• Emotional and behavioral disorders
• Emotional disturbances
• Emotional control (aka emotion regulation)
• Episodic dyscontrol syndrome
• Frustration
• Intermittent explosive disorder
• Oppositional defiant disorder

Additional material

Papers

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