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Social psychology: Altruism · Attribution · Attitudes · Conformity · Discrimination · Groups · Interpersonal relations · Obedience · Prejudice · Norms · Perception · Index · Outline
This is an account of stalking given by one of our readers:
I saw a few of these signs before I married J but it was never directed at me until after. He shattered my hand wrist and arm. Then I was truly his victim , it went on for 3 years. I left him and didn't see or hear from him for almost a year as I was very busy hiding , working and getting my life on track > I drove 30 miles to & from work out of my way to avoid him , then I dropped the charges so I could get get on with my life. BIG MISTAKE !!
I moved into a cute little place by some co-workers and after about a month I got a "gift" on my driveway , it was a board game we used to play that I had taped up so the pieces wouldn't get lost when he threw it. I threw it away.
Then I received a phone message that described my porch perfectly and I just blocked the number and went on to work.
I pulled out on my way to a friends after work one day & realized I hadn't checked my mail which I did @ then I just put it back into the box. It was gone later that evening when I got home.
I finally called the police and made a report.
On my next probation visit I was informed that he'd contacted my p.o. about getting ME to leave HIM alone !! I had been telling my p.o. all of this so he was onto him but had to detain me to verify it anyways. I missed my first day of work over this.
A month later I came home to find a card from an officer on my door , when I called he had a summons for me . I racked my brains trying to figure out if I'd seen an accident or something . NOPE , I was being charged with stalking !!
I got my work records together and arranged to have that day off . I talked to my p.o. who was going on vacation for two weeks so he wrote me a letterhead about the false stories J had told him to try to get me locked up.
I went to court with my little letter and my work schedules and found out that written evidence was not admissible in a pre-warrant trial . A bundle of nerves I cried and poorly represented myself when I could noy just give them the proof that I was working 90% of the time that he filed his false police reports. I was locked up and my P.O. was on vacation !
2 weeks and he came & got me as soon as he got back but by then I had lost my job and was soon to loose my place if I didn't do something quick . I had to move for lack of work ( I had 3 years at the factory but still won't be eligible for re-employ until 5 have passed) .
The D.A. dropped the charges due to "lack-of evidence" and I got off probation the following month , I found a job 50 + miles away but it was all I could get . I moved in with family & drove back to see my children as often as I could.
Now I have moved in with my childhood sweetie and we would love to marry but I dare not stir J up , he got a place less than 10 miles away from us so I'm scared to even try to get a job close to home (or go for a walk).
He hangs out at a bar less than 1 mile from my house ! He just drove by tonight at 7:20 and I've seen him several times over the last year driving through my little neighborhood !
When I had all the pins sticking out of my arm it was his favorite thing to do to grab me by them knowing I was on probation and wouldn't call the law.
This man may well KILL ME and that's what it's going to take for me to get ANY help . Well I just wanted people to know what kind of hell awaits you if you aren't very careful as it's soooo easy to get trapped and have your Independence stripped from you.
And please if you hear of the death of a middle Georgia girl named ???? under suspicious circumstances then point this post about my stalker and the inadequacy of protection out to the authorities. And AVOID THESE MEN AT ALL COSTS ERARLY ON !!