Self-disclosure

Self-disclosure is both the conscious and unconscious act of revealing more about ourselves to others. This may include but is not limited to thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams as well as our likes, dislikes, and favorites. Many people attempt to avoid "self-disclosing" too much to co-workers, or when dating for fear of being judged negatively by others.

Typically self-disclosure is done when we initially meet someone and as we continue to build and develop our relationships with people. As we get to know each other we equally self-disclose things. If one person is not willing to "self disclose" then the other person may "shut down" or stop disclosing information about themselves as well.

In a counseling session, the patient or client does the "self disclosing" while the counselor, or therapist listens. Their role is to help the client see things from different angles. This allows the client to see and evaluate options he or she may not have thought about, which gives the client more power when making important life decisions.

Self disclosure is a building block for intimacy, intimacy can not be achieved without it. We expect self disclosure to be reciprocal and appropriate. Self disclosure is assessed on an analysis of cost and rewards which can be further explained by the Social Exchange Theory. Most self disclosure usually occurs early in relational development, but more intimate self disclosure occurs later. Male and female differences in self disclosure are mixed. Women self disclose to enhance a relationship where men self disclose relative to control and vulnerability. Men initially disclose more in heterosexual relationships. Men usually enjoy when women disclose where as women may not enjoy when men disclose because it may show weakness in their mind but not all women are like this. Women put more emphasis on intimate communication with same sex friends than men do.