Romantic love

Romantic love is a form of love that is often regarded as different from mere needs driven by sexual desire, or lust. Romantic love generally involves a mix of emotional and sexual desire, as opposed to Platonic love. There is often, initially, more emphasis on the emotions than on physical pleasure.

Romantic love can be returned or unrequited. In the former case the mutual expressions of love can lead to marriage or to the establishment of a permanent relationship, which in most cases will include passionate sexual love. Where the love is one-sided (unrequited) damage to the esteem and/or the psychological welfare of the spurned lover can result.

One aspect of romantic love is the randomness of the encounters which lead to love. It may be for this reason that some in Western society have historically emphasized romantic love far more than other cultures in which arranged marriages are the rule. However, the globalization of Western culture has spread Western ideas about love and romance.

Romantic love became a recognized passion in the Middle Ages, when in some cases insurmountable barriers of morality or convention separated the lovers. The effect of physical attraction and impossibility of intimacy resulted in an excessive regard of the beloved as extremely precious. Winning the love, or at least the attention, of the beloved, motivated great efforts of many kinds, such as poetry, song or feats of arms.

In more modern times romantic love has been the theme of art and entertainment in all its forms. Some of the greatest poetry (e.g. Shakespeare's sonnets), opera (e.g. La Boheme), and literature (e.g. Pride and Prejudice) have romantic love as the main theme. Similarly much of more popular culture from theatre to film to popular music has romantic love at its heart.

Properties of romantic love purported by Western culture that might or might not appear elsewhere include:


 * It must take you by surprise (the result of a random encounter).
 * It cannot be easily controlled.
 * It is not overtly (initially at least) predicated on a desire for sex as a physical act.
 * If requited it may be the basis for a lifelong commitment.
 * It is the highest form of self-fulfillment.

Fantasy vs. Reality
While romantic love as discussed above is a dream of many, some claim that such love as is depicted in books and movies rarely, if ever, occurs. They point to the modern practice of dating, where often the goal is to have sexual intercourse as soon as possible instead of building a lasting relationship. Often, the rigorous demands of careers in the modern world rob people of the time to find such ideal companions, and mental disorders such as social anxiety disorder prevent people from approaching others.

A different type of romance is found in the modern-day seduction community, which consists of heterosexual men who practice and refine ways to emotionally and sexually seduce women. Practicioners such as David DeAngelo, Ross Jeffries, and Neil Strauss have commercialized the community's idea of seduction, selling books and DVDs on the topic. While the community defends its practices as building genuine relationships, others have criticized it as destroying the traditional concept of romantic love.

Reference
Denis de Rougemont, Love in the Western World. Pantheon Books, 1956.

Forelskelse Amore romantico & & &